Our Story

I've been thinking about marriage, preparing for marriage, and wanting marriage since I graduated from high school. I used to dream about being a baseball player, a doctor, or President of the United States, but as I grew up, what I really wanted to do was be a husband and father. My journey toward marriage has not been an easy one. My impatience made the wait hard sometimes. But I believed that God had given me the desire for marriage and the training I needed to be a husband and father.

Sometimes it can be hard for a girl to wait for her prince charming. There are times when the wait seems endless, when the whole world seems to be falling in love, and the young lady feels left behind. I felt this way sometimes. Sure, I was content at home and I was trusting on the Lord to bring the perfect man into my life, but still, there was something missing. I knew that at the right time God would reveal His perfect plan for my life and bring me a wonderful man to love me and lead me.

Audra entered my life in June of 2005. My dad, sister Mev, and I were exhibiting at a homeschool convention in St. Charles, Missouri, and the Thrower family came to our booth. I have a mental picture of them standing at our booth, but I do not have a distinct recollection of Audra from that event.

It was a great conference. I was able to fellowship with old friends and make new ones. The Notgrass family was there, and our family went to almost all of John's sessions. I remember thinking that they were a neat family. I do not remember having much contact with John at the conference, other than being introduced to him. I remember thinking he was a nice person, but that is all.

After the conference, my dad told me that he was praying that John would someday be his son-in-law. Dad did not mind if John was interested in either my sister or me. We thought dad was crazy--after all, we did not even know John! However, Dad was persistent and would bring up the topic quite frequently. It did make me think . . .

My sister Mev struck up a friendship with Audra. Audra published a newsletter for young ladies, and I looked over it from time to time.

Audra and I saw each other again at the 2006 Homeschool Alumni (HSA) Reunion. Audra happened to be the one who provided audience participation during my speaking session.

In the spring of 2007, Audra left a voice mail for Mev on our cell phone, mentioning her grandmother's illness. I was the first one to listen to the message, which led to our conversation that summer.

At the 2007 HSA Reunion in July, Audra and I had a wonderful conversation about the blessings and challenges of caring for an elderly grandparent. My grandfather had died that March after living with my family for seven years and seven months, and Audra helped take care of her grandmother.

I asked Audra for a dance during the English Country Ball at the Reunion, and she answered with a determined, "Of course."

I had a great time talking at the Reunion with friends and meeting new people. I talked for a while with John and was impressed with the way he took interest in others. He was kind, thoughtful, and considerate. I left the reunion thinking, "I think I like John. I know he would make a good husband for someone! I wonder if that someone could ever be me?" I was definitely interested in him, but thought that there was no chance that John would even notice me.

For the rest of that summer and into the fall I prayed that if it were God's will, John would show an interest in me. I did not pray about this every day, but made it a special prayer several times, then left the matter in the Lord's hands. "After all," I reasoned, "God knows how I feel about this." My dad also knew how I felt about this as I confessed to my feelings a few months after the reunion. Dad told me that he had been making this a matter of prayer for some time, and that while he did not know God's plan, he still had a feeling that maybe this was supposed to be. This knowledge gave me mixed feeling of excitement and nervousness. Was I ready to be someone's wife? Again, I made this a matter of prayer.

In the fall of 2007, Audra's father invited me to present a seminar at the Family Vision Library in St. Charles, of which organization he is President. I wondered if he was interested in me as a potential suitor, but one of the things I greatly appreciate about Mr. Thrower is that he did not put any pressure on me to consider Audra. He gave me a good opportunity to get to know her, however!

Audra and I exchanged e-mails to work out details about the seminar. My sister Mev and I traveled to Missouri on March 14, 2008. On Saturday I spoke and sang to the families who attended my presentation. On Sunday we attended church with the Throwers and then returned to Tennessee.

John did a great job speaking at the Library, and I was even more impressed with the wisdom God gave him. The vision that John had for his future family was attractive to me. I had the same vision! It was amazing. I tried not to show that I was attracted to John because I did not want to chase him. I remember purposely avoiding him at times because I was afraid my feelings would show. I wanted God to have a chance to work in our lives, and if John was not the man for me, I did not want to make a mistake.

I soon made plans to travel to Missouri again to exhibit again at the conference in St. Charles where Audra and I first met. On April 4, Audra sent an e-mail in which she mentioned loving conferences and enjoying adventure. That caught my attention.

Over the years, as I prepared for marriage, I had tried to be patient, to seek guidance from my parents, and to be upright in my relationships with young women. At age 29, I was feeling lonesome. On April 7, I wrote a letter to the Lord expressing my yearning for a wife and describing several specific things I desired.

In May my parents made a scouting trip to visit the Throwers as part of a longer business trip. They felt at home with the Throwers right away.

It was nice getting to know Mr. and Mrs. Notgrass. At that time, I had no idea that they were "checking us out" to see what kind of people we were. I am glad I didn't know this. I would have been very nervous! The visit was enjoyable and I loved hearing about the family. I kept listening to hear if John was interested in anyone, but there were no clues. I was in suspense!

The Notgrass Company was showing their curriculum at a homeschool conference in St. Charles in June, and they called and asked if they could work in a visit to us. Of course, we agreed! I had my suspicions though. I prayed, "God, if John is interested in me, could you please show me? The waiting is getting long." I asked God that if John was interested in me to please let me know this by allowing Mr. Notgrass to come to the conference. They called and said that Mrs. Notgrass was to come. There was my answer. John was not interested. That was that. Well, if that was to be, then I would be content with the Lord's will.

Audra and I exchanged a few more e-mails before the conference in June. I attended a World War II festival in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, on June 21, where I shared my grandfather's experience as a soldier in New York, England, and Europe from 1941-1945. After the show, I headed west on I-40 and picked up my sister Mev to continue the trip to Missouri. We got to the Throwers' house late Saturday night.

We attended church Sunday morning. Several other folks came over to visit in the afternoon. I was keeping my eyes and ears open to learn what I could covertly about Audra. She suggested we watch a movie Sunday night. Mev and I were tired, and we didn't last too long. We both fell asleep.

Since Mev ended up coming to the conference, I thought I really had my answer! The visit was nice and I had a great time talking with Mev and enjoying her company. I did not get much of a chance to talk with John while he was here, but that did not bother me because I thought I had my answer. John was not interested. Because I thought I knew how he was feeling I was able to be myself around him, to say what I thought and not worry about making a "good impression."

On Monday we setup for the conference and the show opened. I had suggested a game of miniature golf with the young adults after things wrapped up that evening. So Mev, Audra, and her sister Bethany joined me for the evening. A couple of other young men we knew joined us, too.

After the golf, we decided to go to Steak 'n Shake. I offered to pay for a treat for Audra and Bethany. Audra said that I was "sweet" for doing so, which caused her much embarrassment as she thought about the implications.

At the restaurant, the server put Audra's shake and my sundae together on the receipt. Everyone else was separate. I had not asked for that, but it was a small sign of things to come.

On Tuesday I made extra effort to spend time with Audra. We took her brothers out to get lunch. We attended a workshop given by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, parents of 18 children. We sat by the window at the convention center and chatted. That evening I asked Mr. Thrower if he and I could talk.

At the conference, strange things began to happen. A young man kept coming around our table and wanting to talk with me. He went to the sessions I was going to, went with me as I ran errands for the family, and even spent some time in deep conversation with me. I was puzzled. John was not interested. So why did he keep coming around? I did not sleep very well that first night.

John paid even more attention to me on Tuesday. Internally I was a mess. I did not know what to do. I liked him, but I did not want this attention if nothing was to come of this. I liked him too much for that. After the conference had closed for the evening, John asked my dad if they could have some time to talk privately. I knew then!

I explained to Mr. Thrower where I was in life and expressed my desire to find a wife. I shared my interest in cultivating a relationship with Audra leading to marriage. The expression on his face after I made my announcement was hard to decipher. He wasn't mad, but he didn't seem glad either. He must have been emotionally touched, because he told me that he had been praying for me and thinking about me as a possible son-in-law almost since the time we met three years earlier. He welcomed my suit and gave me his blessing to seek Audra's hand in marriage.

When my dad got back to the hotel room Mom, Dad and I had a nice long discussion. He told me what he and John talked about; how John wanted to enter into a courtship relationship with me, with the end result being marriage if the Lord willed. Dad asked if I was ready for this. Would I like to be in a relationship with John? Was I ready for this? Didn't I pray for this since July of 2007? Didn't John fit all the qualifications I needed in a husband? Sure, I was ready for this! Therefore, on Wednesday, June 25th we "officially" began our courtship.

Audra and I had a great Wednesday, our last day together in June, but the first of many wonderful days since. We began talking by phone frequently, writing letters, and exchanging e-mails. We exchanged visits and attended our third HSA Reunion together. The whole Thrower family came to Tennessee for a visit in September.

Courtship is wonderful if doing it God's way. Through this whole journey we have striven to place God first in everything. Courtship is a fun time, a time of "getting to know you" and finding things out about yourself and the other person. John and I prayed and talked seriously about marriage. We wanted our courtship to be a preparation for marriage. How we interacted with each other early on would set the tone for the coming years.

Since I live in Missouri and John lives in Tennessee, spending time with each other has been a challenge. We can't just call each other up on a Friday night and go get a milkshake. But God has graciously provided ways for us to spend time with each other. We spend hours on the phone each week and we keep the US Postal Service busy with our correspondence. This has all been good and has drawn us closer together.

I obtained the blessing of my parents and Audra's parents to propose to Audra. On September 24, three months after I first expressed my interest to Mr. Thrower, I traveled to Missouri to pick up Audra for our first date. We went to dinner at an historic restaurant in St. Charles and walked down to the Missouri River. I managed to spill some of our leftovers on my coat after we left the restaurant, which made it all more fun.

John found a nice quiet bench and we sat and talked while watching the river go by. He sang me a special song that he had written, and before I knew it, he was down on his knee, asking me to be his wife. I was so happy! I said "Yes!" and he pulled a very beautiful ring out of his pocket. It fit. The whole experience was wonderful.

John did not know that since I was a little girl I always dreamed about my prince charming proposing to me on the riverfront, but God did. The name "John" means "God's gracious gift." God has given me a wonderful gift in the form of John. John is all my dreams come true. Salvation is the greatest gift God could give to me, but I think that John is the next best gift!

Before I proposed, I found the letter I had written to the Lord in April. I had put it away and forgotten about it. I was amazed to see how Audra specifically fulfilled what I was looking for in a wife. She is the one I want and the one I need. God has given me more than I could ask or imagine.

John and I have become very close in the past few months. As I look back, I see the journey we have taken and I see the Lord's hand in it the whole way. Waiting can seem hard, but I would not have had it any other way. Because John and I waited for each other, our relationship is so precious.

We are eagerly looking forward to what God has in store for us. We want our marriage to honor Him and to be a testimony to His goodness.